The rush of wind blew around us, as I nestled my face in Craig's back, my arms wrapped around his tight warm body, I watched the vibrant colors of autumn stream past us. His Harley's motor purred with power as I felt the vibration between my legs as we glided over the hills. Then seeing shades of darkness, a pulse vibration, and then another, notifying me of an incoming text, the light shined in from outside my window, it must be dawn. Well rested, I roll over to read my text from Sandy. My very best friend is on her way here. Feeling the soft lump of blankets besides me, it's empty. Then remembering Craig had left to see his parents yesterday, I was alone.
Sandy had recently been diagnosed with terminal cancer. We now spend every minute we can with one another. She is at peace with her fate. However, I'm fighting for more time with her. Who will be my children's God mother when Craig and I have children, and who will be my maid of honor when we get married? She must win the fight and stay with us. As she walks in she hugs me tighter than yesterday, I hug her back. Today she feels stronger than I have felt her in months, it’s a good day and I'm glad she is sharing it with me.
Handing her some tea, she takes both our cups and set them on the coffee table and reached for my hands and delivered the news. Craig had a motorcycle accident on his way to his parent’s house, he didn't make it. A rush of cold, then my body catching up with my brain, I fell limp. Crying didn't help, neither did Sandy comforting me. Lying in bed I ran my hand over his empty space, smelling his pillow and then hugging it tight, I cried until I slept.
Her gentle hands wrapped around mine as she sat beside me. "Craig would not want you like this, he would want you strong and to find your way," Sandy spoke lovingly. Looking at her I replied, "Why is it all such a blur? Why can't I remember the last time I saw him, held him or spoke to him? I can't remember anything. All I can remember is the dream I had the night he left, and now I am thinking I was supposed to go with him. Why didn't I go? This is like a long terrible dream," I said trembling, as I drifted back to sleep.
Peaceful morning light was shining into my window as it did the morning Craig died. My insides empty, a pain ripped through me, lying in bed without Craig. The dream remained in my mind like a memory lingering. The cold air swirling around me, the smell of Craig, the warmth of his body and his leather jacket against my cheek, holding him tight ... I can still smell him.
Waking, I opened my eyes as I gazed up at him, and then over to Sandy. I sat up and said, “Thank God you are both here, I had the worst dream ever.” My hands felt warm as Sandy held my hand and Craig held my other. They looked at me then both turned towards the light coming through the window. The answer was simple. I was with Craig that beautiful autumn evening and the three of us will be together for eternal life.
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